Scream 2008

I’m going through a live run through of Scream 2008 on Spike TV

1. Sir Anthony Hopkins is awarded for being a scream legend. He has portrayed some of the most horrifying and dynamic characters to date on the silver screen.
2. Seth Rogan and Kevin Smith make Fantasy movies into pornos. I am officially offended, but that’s just me. Winner in the Fantasy Movie Category: Hellboy 2. Which sucks because those movies are retarded. Oh look, I’m a big smelly demon. I make smash. But the acceptance speech was glorious.
3. Kristen Bell and Stan Lee announce the winners for the comic category. Some guy yelled “You’re the man, Stan!” And I agree 🙂 Winner in Best Comic Book: Why the Last Man
4. World Premere clip from Twilight. Still the stupidest thing I have ever seen.
5. Gary Oldman announces that Heath Leadger wins Best Fantasy Actor and Best Villian for his absolutely stunning performance in the movie, The Dark Knight. He has REVOLUTIONIZED the character, and very much deserves these awards.

And here’s where I get a lie and must stop.

This is why I said I wouldn’t be doing much until my computer was fixed.

Read Full Post »

Technological Blues

Well, my laptop freaked out the other week and crashed like, 50 times in one day. I’m not even kidding. So, I’m not able to type any extensive movie reviews at this time. Which sucks because Fear(s) is coming out this weekend! I don’t know if it’ll be here where I live, but I’m trying to contact the theaters and see if they can get it. If you haven’t seen the trailer yet, then I suggest you take a look. It looks very original and I’m totally psyched for it. Hopefully, my computer will be fixed in time for me to do an extensive movie review on it.

Read Full Post »

The Improtance of Previews

Movie guys need to pay more attention to their marketing schemes and how they sell their movies. The first thing you show to your audience besides promo pictures is the preview. It seems like producers and such aren’t putting much into their previews anymore. Half the time, the previews are incorrectly marketed. Take the movie Stranger than Fiction. It was promoted as a laugh out loud general Will Ferrel movie, which it was not. Like it can totally destroy a movie if its marketed wrong. You need to make a preview that is true to the movie in every way and that will grab the audience and make the person say “I want to see this.” Rarr grr.

That’s all I have to say on the matter for the moment.

Read Full Post »

Angry Movie Blogger!

Raaar! Ok so I’m kind of getting sick of being right about movies. Like for once, I’d love to be wrong about something. There will be no Eagle Eye review, because despite all my prayers, it still sucked. That thing had so much potential! Like the trailer grabbed you and threw you into intensity! But I couldn’t stay away from the early reviewers and discovered that my doubts were right. It bombed. It was nothing but a load of shit thrown together with Shia Lebouf and with Spielberg’s name in the credits. I mean it super-failed. I wanted to scratch out my eyes after just READING a general play-by-play of it! It was basically like: “Oh no, my brother died. Oh hey look, people are after me. Big brother is watching me. Stuff goes BOOM. Oh, this was all my brothers fault. Ladeda, oh look, if the kid plays that note, someone will die, so lets distract him from his music recital” I KNOW, WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF MOVIE IS THAT!? Like it makes me want to listen to Fall out Boy or something because maybe more suckage will counter that of that movie. But dude, like, that could have been such a great movie without all the supercomputer BS. Like a secret society controlling people and such. That would have been awesome. But no, it was just “Lets stick some random crap together and put some fancy names on it and make a quick buck by scamming innocent movie goers into thinking they’re seeing something worthwhile.” Dear Film industry, GET A FRIGGIN’ GRIP. UGG.

In other news, I saw Repo! The Genetic Opera’s trailer, and I got excited. Because it looks crappy, but the enjoyable, good kind of crappy that makes you go “omg wtf was that…lets see it again.” Haha. I mean, look at the description. Rock opera + Organ Failure. Like that just spells out badassery.   It’s by the SAW guys, so it obviously has a good plot with horrendous pacing and shots.

Anyways, don’t see Eagle Eye. Save your money to go buy a 5 Dollar Foot Long at Subway. It’s healthier than movie theater popcorn and pretzels.

Read Full Post »

The blog where I DON’T rant about Harry Potter

So I just watched an amazing trailer.

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809947440/trailer

This is the most original looking thing I’ve seen in ages. I’m really excited about this. I love the sick and twisted. Expect more on this from me later.

On the topic of sick and twisted, I’m still trying to get info on the new SAW.  The 5th annual blood drive for SAW should be at a place near you, so remember to give till it hurts. Anyways, the first trap is the Pendulum Trap, where a man is stuck in a pendulum and must destroy his hands to make it stop. The site clip leaves his fate unknown, but since when has someone survived the opening scene?

And The Twilight movie looks stupider than the books. The lighting and coloring in the trailer looks like a bad photoshop edit. The actors, well, suck. They all look like emo rejects. It’s like “oh….my gosh…I am…a…vampire….letmebiteyouplease.” Please, are we humans so pathetic as to fall for such crap? Get a grip people. Save your money for a rainy day.

Read Full Post »

They’ll have a lovely spring wedding

I took a liking to the trailer for Eagle Eye, as well as Watchmen (I’ll comment on Watchmen some other time). It looks pretty good. There’s a saying in a few film circles about how for a Spielberg film to be good, it has to be his baby. He has to conceive it, carry it, give birth, breast feed it, and so on. And then you have Schindler’s List.  And now it seems he’s taken a liking to young Shia Lebouf. There’s Disturbia, Transformers 1 and 2, Indiana Jones, and now Eagle Eye. I know lots of directors have favourite actors and use them over and over, but this is a lot for a short time period. It’s quite curious.

Anyways, check out Eagle Eye at the official website here.

Read Full Post »

Harry Potter 6 Trailer

Well, somehow, we finally have the trailer we’ve waited months for.  It is available here.

So, I’m both excited and annoyed. It starts off with a shot of the Hogwarts Express, and then we see Dumbledore taking out the memories for the pensive and Harry goes in.  From there on, it’s just the scene where Dumbledore finds Riddle in the orphanage and we see how “evil the kid is” and stuff. It just seems dark and overly dramatic. It doesn’t make me interested in seeing it. I feel  like “Ok, well now it seems like its a dull copy of the book” and it doesn’t contain anything that makes me go “ooh, that looks pretty neat.” All of the other trailers atleast had a nice magical atmosphere. This was just …blah. I hope they can come out with something more interesting.  No doubt it’ll be horrible, but there’s always SOMETHING interesting in each movie to make it worth watching.

Read Full Post »

Suspicions

So, I’m getting a bit suspicious about The Dark Knight. Every commercial and ad raves about Heath Ledger. It’s just a 20 second promo for The Joker. I know it’s sad Ledger died and stuff, but the movie is about BATMAN. Is the plotline and such bad enough that they’re trying to save it with a dead man? It’s what I’m worrying about. No no no, I’m not making little of Ledger, infact I think he’s a pretty good actor. I just think they’re going a bit overboard with all of this. Look, industry, he died. It was a very tragic accident. No one wanted that but it’s time to let it go, ok? The movie industry is about movies, not about honoring dead actors. And I don’t think it’s wrong to honor him either. I just think it’s way too much. Anyways, I hope I’m wrong and that it’s the amazing movie everyone claims it to be.

In other superhero news, they’re thinking about ending the HULK franchise. I think this is great. No, I’m not dissing the Hulk, even though a giant green guy isn’t my thing, I just think continuing franchises is what makes movies fail and lose their fan base. So, this is a smart move proposed move on Hulk’s behalf and I hope I works out the way they want if they go through with it.

Read Full Post »

Disaster Movie: From the guy’s who’ve brought you too many disasters

Alright, so I was informed recently about a new movie called Disaster Movie. The trailer was pretty much the stupidest thing I have ever seen. And I’ve seen many stupid things. It’s basically a spoof of all the movies that are popular at the moment. In the trailer, we have Ironman getting smashed by a cow, bikini clad girls running amok, the death of Hannah Montana, the Hulk losing his shorts, the Enchanted lady getting hit by a taxi, Hancock being stupid, the sex and the city girls as trannies, and Juno..doing the Zohan foot thing.

Oh, it’s a disaster movie alright. It’s a pathetic writing disaster and acting fiasco. I mean really, who lets these guys make more movies? It just sullies the American film industry. All of their past movies have been flops. I haven’t come across a single person who found it enjoyable, funny, or worth any kind of money at all. I don’t even know people who have bothered to pirate it. Ugg, this just sickens me. The American comedy genre needs a major reality check. This kind of stuff is just pathetic.

Lets do the film industry a favour and ignore this garbage from now on. Maybe then they’ll shut up and go get a real job.

Agreement is greatly appreciated. Rebuttals will be laughed at.

Read Full Post »

WallE; Potter Trailer anguish; SPOILERS

So, for some reason I’ve been having trouble with WP so I couldn’t make updates. But now it’s working again. Yay! Since it’s too late for me to review it, I’ll just tell you that Kung Fu Panda was great. It wasn’t a stupid child’s movie filled with innuendos and such. It’s clever, witty, and clean cut. Skadoosh!

Now for WallE. The Disney/Pixar event of the summer lived more than up to it’s hype. WallE follows a robot that has been left on Earth to clean up the mess the humans have made. All of the other robots of his kind have died, but WallE lives on. One day, a probe named Eve comes to earth in a spaceship. These probes are sent to look for signs of plant growth on Earth from the spaceship that left earth for a 5r year trip, 700 years ago, with all of Earth’s population aboard. WallE falls in love with Eve and presents her with various objects he’s found in the ruins of his resident US city (presumably New York), one of these is a plant he discovered growing the debris. Eve takes it and shuts down and the ship returns to take her away. WallE hangs on for the ride to get Eve back. It is so sweet and cute with humour for all ages. Like we’d expect less from the boys who brought us Toy Story and Finding Nemo. It’s genius and has a great message. I give it 5 out of 5 stars. An instant classic. An environmentalists dream. And the sweetest romance I’ve seen in a while.  Be sure and see it in an HD theater or in IMAX for the best experience.

And no Potter trailer yet. We’re all getting suspicious…what’s WB doing exactly?

Read Full Post »